Nostalgia

I've been feeling pretty nostalgic lately. I have been reminiscing about my entire childhood. These 18 years I spent on this earth, I have been thinking about that a lot. Also mostly about my school life, my friends and my college life. I have been comparing all those different stages in life and its unjust I know but I seem to have a lot of free time on my hands.

I think about my school and I think abiut my college right now. I think about how I spent 8 years in my school and came to terms with the fact that the people I grew up with, who I saw every single day of my life, I will not be seeing them now. Probably for a while, probably never. But after thinking about all that I wonder, the people I just spent 2 months with in college. I don't think I will be able to ever come to terms withthe fact that there will come a day that I will not be seeing theri faces everyday.

Now, my college is extremely sctrict about attendance. A compulsory 85% or you're out. By that I mean you wll not be allowed to write exams and I dont know what not. I have to get up everyday in the morning and go to college and bunking is out of the question. I see these people everyday and come back to my room just to do it all over again. I think I might have spent more time I did with these people in two months than I ever did with people in 2 years. I'm talking about my junior college. That's a thing here. 10 years of school, 2 years of junior college and 4 years of college.

I was absolutely miserable there. I felt like I didn't fit in and trust me when I say I did not fit in. The ammount of smiles I have smiled, the amount of laughter I experienced, the amount of people I met or talked to, in two months, I couldn't accomplish eve half of that in 2 years there. Don't get me wrong, the place was a lot of fun, but just not for me. I never liked it there I don't know if its because of the people or the environment, or the post COVID time or the fact that I was studying something I did not enjoy, but regardless, I did not like it there one bit.

Well, I did meet some people there, I made friends of them, I had fun,they were sweet, but maybe not my vibe. I still love them and miss them, but the people here, I am grateful for them. My freinds here, I feel like I will be friends with them for quite a while. I might even end uo attending someone's wedding, and might end up clling them to mine, if I have one. But yes, I am happy.🧿

I really like this place, I found such passionate people about art in the production house I am a part of. Its an experience, to be around people who are just as passionate about the art as I am and who know so much more and have a lot to teach. My class is a small one, we're about 65 people with just 6 guys. But you know what, they're all really sweet, we're not divided, we don't hate each other (yet) but we're doing fine. I don't know if I am happy here because I am pursuing what I love, or because of the people or the environment, but I know for a fact that if I will ever leave this place, I will leave when my 4 years here are done. I will leave when I absolutely have to because back then, I would always want to rush home. That's all I did for 2 years. But now I stay back in college, with my friends for as long as they do, because I don't feel the need to go and be alone, I don't drain my social battery with them, its all good.

I also thought about all the people I lost touch with, or the people I lost, I think I am doing better in the regard. Even after everything we went through together, I never thought, I would lose them, because we overcame a lot of things amd we actually grew up togther and that hurts the most, from talking everyday to not talking at all. I never thought this day would come, even though I made it come. I am proud of myself though, because everytime, I thought this day would come, in my head, I was always doing worse, but I am doing so much better than I imagined I would be doing, and I appreciate myself so much for this. I am really happy about it.

I remember watching this youtube video when I was preparing for the interview which would decide my admission. I was doing all the research I could, long before I was even selected, I heard this professor talk about what to say and do and compose yourself in the interview and he talked about life in the college and I don't think I will ever forget what he said. He said, "The college will become your secind home because trust me you will be here way longer than you are supposed to be. Almost every. single. day." And guess what, I do consider this my second home. My second home is not my room, not my grandparents' place or anywhere else. It's definitely this and I wouldn't have it any other way.